Pregnancy is a roller coaster ride for almost all women except for a few lucky ones. With constant morning sickness for the first few months, mood swings, fatigue, hormonal changes, physical changes and so much more it is a difficult phase. Of course it’s exciting and beautiful too as we get to experience movements, kicks, shopping spree for coming kiddo, name hunting etc.
When we hold the little one in our arms it all seems worthwhile. The love for the little miracle in our hands knows no bounds. We are extremely happy and content. But soon the responsibility starts overwhelming us sometimes. Blame it on sleep less nights, hormones or the pressure of doing everything perfectly but we often feel tired and anxious specially for the first few months. At this time our family and friends can give us huge support. Their help will mean a lot for our well being. We feel shy to ask for help but we should not hesitate because only if we are well we will be able to keep our little one well and happy.
If we as new moms are feeling shy and not asking for help don’t just assume that we have everything in control. Even if we have, we would definitely appreciate receiving some help. So following are the things that you as husband, friend or family member can do to help the new mom :
Help her get some sleep: Newborns wake up every 2-4 hours without any difference between day or night time sleep. They are hungry or need change diapers. So getting a resting and continuous sleep for New mom is very difficult. Ask the mom to pump some breast milk and keep it in bottle so that when the baby wakes up early morning you can feed him and change the nappy allowing the new mom to sleep a little after a long tiring night. A good sleep will work wonders for her physical and mental health. This duty can be shared by anyone, husband, grandparents or whoever is free or comfortable doing it.
Share household work : Taking care of a newborn is tiring especially when the body is recovering from the process of giving birth. Help in household work as much as you can. Encourage new moms to take rest when the baby is sleeping even during day time. If the baby is born through c section then a rest of minimum 6 weeks is required. Your sharing of household work will give her time to rest and relax.
Assure Her : New moms feel very insecure about their parenting style, looks, weight gain and sometimes feel guilty for mood swings . Assure her that whatever she is doing is good for her and baby and she really is a good mom. Every mom out there is actually the best mom. Tell her that she is still beautiful and this new look suits her. She will lose this extra weight soon and even if she does not you still love the way she looks.
Be Patient : Lack of sleep, stress of added responsibilities, hormonal changes can make her cranky. Be patient with her and do not lash out. Give her the emotional support she needs as this new phase in life is overwhelming for her. Show her tremendous love and care and she will be your smiling wife in no time.
Give her attention : The little ones are so cute that they hog all the attention. It is natural and it doesn’t mean that you are neglecting her. But give some attention to new mom also. Ask her about how she is, how she is coping with the new phase and compliment her along with the baby. Don’t treat her as “ mom” of your baby, grandchild or whoever but as a woman. Don’t make her feel that she has lost all other identities and now she is just a mom.
Help her with the baby : Changing diapers, feeding, bathing, massaging, cradling there is a lot to do with the little one. It is a great way of bonding with the baby. Change diapers of baby whenever you can. She is tired of doing the same things throughout the day. It will not only relax her but will help you bond with the baby.
Get her gifts : Everyone has welcomed the baby with lots and lots of gifts and the baby has enough of everything. May be with so many gifts you can open a small baby store yourself. And the new mom is loving it. She is happy to see all the cute little things for the baby. But surprising her with a small gift for her will make her realize that she is still very important for the family.
Give her some ”me” time : Most moms do not get enough time or have strength left in them to bathe nicely, comb their hair, cook something they like or do something they enjoy like reading, listening to music or anything. Help her to get some “me” time. They would love it and feel recharged.
Take her on a date : You as her spouse should take her on a romantic date sometimes or her friends can take her on gossip dates leaving the baby for a few hours with some relative or hire a babysitter. This will help her get some much required fresh air and make her feel a lively human again.
These are few things you can help a new mom with. There are lots of other things she may want so ask her what she needs help with or what she wants to do. Your only help is to support her in the way she wants. Your little help will mean a lot for her sanity. The initial time affects the mom so much. Sometimes women experience postpartum depression which makes them feel all the more helpless. If not dealt at the right time this could lead to life time issues. It is the best time to show the love and care you all have for her.
Apoorva Yadav Kamboj
:kissing_heart::kissing_heart: