10 Jokes to Laugh Out Loud

Looking for A reason to laugh ? Look no more and enjoy the jokes:

• Are you Outstanding too?  : John is driving down the Delhi-Amritsar highway when he spots his friend Steve standing in the middle of a huge field of grass. He pulls the car over to the side of the road and notices that Steve is just standing there, doing nothing, looking at nothing. John gets out of the car, walks all the way out to Steve, and asks him, “Excuse me, what are you doing?” Steve replies, “I’m trying to win a Nobel Prize.” “How?” asks John, puzzled. “Well I heard they give the Noble Prize to people who are out-standing in their field,” says Steve.

• Valid Reason except they may have name tags and Records: Teacher: Sir, why doctors wear a mask when they do an operation? Student: For safety. If the patient dies, others can’t find out who did the operation.

• Lesson of the Joke  : Dentists also date: “I thought, Miss Smith, that you wanted yesterday afternoon off because you were seeing your dentist?””That’s right, Sir.”

  “So how come I saw you coming out of the movie theatre with a friend?”

  “That was my dentist.”

• Never say that out loud : Two friends talking:
  1st: “Hey can I borrow some money? I’m broke.”
  2nd: “Get money from your job.”
  1st: “I got fired.”
  2nd: “Why?”
  1st: “My boss told me to leave all my problems behind the door, so I told him to stand outside.

• True Friendship : Three friends, stranded on a desert island, find a magic lantern containing a genie, who grants them each one wish. The first friend wishes he was off the island and back home. The second friend wishes the same. The third friend says “I’m lonely. I wish my friends were back here.”

• Think Before Comparing :  Teacher ” You are very bad in Maths. At your age I could solve all the difficult problems within few minutes. I was smarter than you.” Student : ” I bet your teacher was also smarter than my teacher. Not everyone is as lucky as you.”

• This Cop is really smart :A Cop Calls his station and informs his seniors that a crime has been committed by a woman. She has murdered her husband for stepping on a recently mopped floor. Senior : Have you arrested her?. Cop : Not yet, the floor is still wet.

• What seems to be the problem here ? Ron and Harry were walking down the road and Ron found five hundred rupees. Harry :  We will take 50:50. Ron : What will we do about the rest four hundred rupees?

• Poor Accountant : A deaf accountant works for a Mafia King. Once the Mafia King checked the books and noticed that his 1 million dollars were missing. He called the accountant and the translator and asked:

Mafia King :  Where is my money?

Translator (In sign Language) :  The Boss wants to know where is his money?

Accountant (In Sign Language) :  I do not know. I did nothing wrong.

The translator translates the same to the Boss.

Mafia King : I am asking you for the last time otherwise I will you kill right here. He then points the gun on his forehead

Translator (In sign Language) : Boss is very angry. Please tell him otherwise you will die a horrible death.

Accountant (In Sign Language)  :  Ok, Ok. I have hidden the money in my safe at my office and the combination for the  same is 8543.

Translator to the Boss : He says go screw yourself. He will never return the money.

• I too need some space : Interviewer : Why do you want to become an Astronaut ? Man :  I just need some space.

Apoorva Yadav Kamboj

Credit: Various websites and books.