We as parents always wish our child to be healthy, successful and happy always. While it is not exactly possible for someone to always have the best of life, it is our attitude to deal with life that matters. As said by Charles R. Swindoll – “ Life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you react to it “. We cannot control the hardships or challenges that life will throw towards our little ones but what we can do is ensure that they are prepared to handle everything. Life nowadays is particularly very challenging as the world is becoming more and more competitive with each passing day. So it has become very essential to develop a innate happiness in our child.
We may think that whether the child will be happy or not depends on the circumstances and we can do nothing about it. While it’s true we cannot control the outside circumstances but we can teach our child to not be controlled by the circumstances. “ Happiness is not determined by what’s happening around you, but rather what’s happening within you” – John Spencer. Below are the things we can do to raise a happy child :
Be happy yourself : Only a happy parent can raise a happy child . If we ourselves are troubled we are bound to release some of our frustration on our child which in turn will make our child unhappy and frustrated. Lead by example and have a positive attitude towards life. It ’s not always possible for us to be happy but we have learn how to deal with negative emotions without affecting our child. Emotional intelligence should be implemented by us and taught to our children. We should show them it is okay to be feeling low sometimes but we should deal with it without impacting our own mindset, health or others around us.
Teach children to build relationships : Teach you children to build healthy and meaningful relationships. Studies show people are happier when they have people in their lives on whom they can rely on. Tell them that it’s not important to surround yourself with many people but have a group who gives you strength and positivity instead of dragging you down. Our company affects our choices and behaviour so guide your children to keep good company. Also encourage them to be social and be a good, gentle and loving with all.
Communicate Effectively : Give your undivided attention to your child when he is talking to you. Take their problems seriously even if they seem small to you . Empathize with them , offer your advise and encourage them to solve their problems on their own. If your child admits some mistake he has done don’t be harsh on them as it will discourage them to talk to you if something happens again. Be gentle and explain to them where they went wrong and also ask them not to repeat it again. Be the friends they can come to when they are in trouble. But don’t be too lenient otherwise it will make them think you don’t care at all. Set some ground rules and regulations and discuss them with your child instead of just imposing them. You do not have to be overbearing as it will make the child a rebel. Communicate with everyone around you nicely so that your child can learn to do the same. Avoid yelling at your child or at anyone in front of your child to teach them that conflicts can be resolved by having sensible discussions.
Praise efforts not results : Praising your child is important for developing his confidence and self esteem. But if we only praise the achievements in his life it will make him believe that he has to be perfect in order to be admired. So it will create a pressure on him to always perform well and in case he couldn’t he will be demoralized. Hence it is better to appreciate the efforts made by child instead of the result. Dr. Carol Dweck’s research shows children who focus more on process rather than result are likely to become more successful. Believe in your child as it will help in him believing in himself. As said by Mathew Jacobson “ behind every young child who believes in himself is a parent who believed first”. Never compare your kid to other children. By doing so you will teach them to be competitive instead ask them to be better version of themselves. Encourage them to beat their own records and focus on achieving their set goals instead of trying to do better than some other child.
More Playtime : Encourage your child to play more preferably outside. The Outdoor activities not only help the child to become stronger physically but also lets him connect to the nature and form bond with other children. Going to parks to play with other children some of whom may be unknown helps them enlarge their friend circle, teaches them art of making new friends and builds team spirit. It is recommended to reduce screen time be it television, laptop or phones. These things affect their eyes, overall health makes them loner and research shows that more screen time affects their psychological well being. Instead notice their strengths and skills and encourage them to take up creative hobbies which they like. It will not only develop their skills, sharpen their mind but also keep them happily occupied and help them in longer run.
Teach Positive Thinking : Lord Krishna said in Bhagvad Geeta “ Man is made by is beliefs. As he beliefs so he is”. Our minds can be wired to think positively. Teach your child to be optimistic so that he can lead a happy life. Do not ask the child to avoid negative emotions as avoidance leads to more psychological issues. Encourage them to accept negative emotions and react positively to them. Learn from your negative emotions to be resilient. To develop positive thinking you can ask them to keep daily gratitude journal, listen and repeat positive affirmations, do meditation etc.
Teach Forgiveness: “ Forgive others not because they deserve forgiveness, but because you deserve peace” – Jonathan Lockwood Huie. In order to live a peaceful, happy life it is essential to forgive people even if they have not asked for it. Keeping anger within yourself would only lead you to be bitter and will affect your relations. So teach your kid to forgive and what a better way than following it yourself.
Make them Generous : Being generous and doing something for others gives meaning to our lives. It gives us a sense of fulfilment and being able to do something for someone without expecting something in return gives us a unique joy. Encourage your kid to serve others so that they can lead meaningful life ahead.
It is important to start these habits early on so that your child will learn them without much difficulty. I know parenting is a big responsibility and a tough task at times but i am sure you agree that it is worth million more efforts. I wish health, happiness and success for your children and hope these tips are of some help to you all wonderful parents out there. Do not forget to share it if you like the tips.
Apoorva Yadav Kamboj
great work. Keep on writing and motivate with your nice thoughts.
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