30 Jul
Spiritual

शिवजी की आरती का रोचक तथ्य

“ ॐ जय शिव ओंकारा “ शिवजी की आरती है जिसे भक्त नियमित तौर पर गाते हैं । क्या आपने इस बात पर गौर किया है कि यह आरती हमे ये बताती है कि ब्रह्मा, विष्णु और शिव तीनो एक ही हैं? आईए इसके शब्दार्थ पर ठीक से गौर करते हैं:

 

जय शिव ओंकारा ॐ जय शिव ओंकारा ।

ब्रह्मा विष्णु सदा शिव अर्द्धांगी धारा ॥ ॐ जय शिव…॥

Explanation :

हे शिव जी आपकी जय हो, आप ही ओंकार हैं आपकी जय हो!

ब्रह्मा, विष्णु, सदा शिव, माता पार्वती मेरे कष्ट दूर करें।

Hail Lord Shiv ji . You are “ om “ personified. Brahma, Vishnu, Shivji, Mata Parvati remove miseries and obstacles from my life.

एकानन चतुरानन पंचानन राजे ।

हंसानन गरुड़ासन वृषवाहन साजे ॥ ॐ जय शिव…॥

Explanation :

आप एक मुख वाले विष्णु, चार मुख वाले ब्रह्मा और पांच मुख वाले शिव हैं जिन्हें देख कर सब सुख पाते हैं!

ब्रह्मा के रूप में आप हंस पर विराजमान हैं, विष्णु के रूप में गरुड़ पर और शिव के रूप में बैल पर आसीन हैं।

आप ही ओंकार हैं आपकी जय हो!

In form of Brahma you have one face, as vishnu four faces and as shiv five faces all of which bring happiness to all who see them. As brahma swan is your vahana ( vehicle/ conveyance ), as vishnu eagle is your conveyance and as shiva bull is your vahana.. Hail Lord Shiv ji . You are “ om “ personified.

दो भुज चार चतुर्भुज दसभुज अति सोहे ।
तीनों रूप निरखते त्रिभुवन जन मोहे ॥ ॐ जय शिव…॥

Explanation :

ब्रह्मा रूप में आपके दो हाथ हैं, विष्णु रूप में चार, शिव रूप में दस भुज हैं जो बहुत सुंदर लगती हैं!

आपके तीनों रूप तीनों लोकों ( धरती, स्वर्ग और पाताल) के लोगों को मोहित करते हैं!

आप ही ओंकार हैं आपकी जय हो!

As brahma you possess two hands, as vishnu four hands and as shiva ten hands that look lovely. All your three avatar enchant everyone from the three worlds who see them . Hail Lord Shiv ji . You are “ om “ personified.

अक्षमाला वनमाला मुण्डमाला धारी ।
चन्दन मृगमद सोहे भोले शशिधारी ॥ ॐ जय शिव…॥

Explanation :

रुद्राक्ष माला ब्रह्मा रूप में, फूल माला विष्णु रूप में और मुंड माला शिव रूप में धारण करते हैं!

ब्रह्मा रूप में चंदन, विष्णु रूप में कस्तूरी और शिव रुप में चंद्रमा आपके मस्तक पर शोभा पाते हैं!

आप ही ओंकार हैं आपकी जय हो!

You wear garland of rudraksha as brahma, flower garland as vishnu and garland made of heads as shiva. Your forehead is adorned with sandal as brahma, musk as vishnu and you carry moon as shiva. Hail Lord Shiv ji . You are “ om “ personified.

श्वेताम्बर पीताम्बर बाघम्बर अंगे ।

सनकादिक गरुणादिक भूतादिक संगे ॥ ॐ जय शिव…॥

Explanation :

ब्रह्मा श्वेत वस्त्र, विष्णु पीले वस्त्र और शिव बाघ की खाल के वस्त्र धारण करते हैं!

ब्रह्मा के साथ ब्राह्मणगण, विष्णु के साथ सनक ( साधु) गण और शिव के साथ भूत गण होते हैं!

आप ही ओंकार हैं आपकी जय हो!

Your attire is white as brahma, yellow as vishnu and you wear attire made from tiger skin as shiva. Brahmans accompany brahma, sages accompany vishnu and as shiva you are accompanied by ghosts and spirits. Hail Lord Shiv ji . You are “ om “ personified.

कर के मध्य कमंडलु चक्र त्रिशूल धर्ता ।

जगकर्ता जगभर्ता जगसंहारकर्ता ॥ ॐ जय शिव…॥

Explanation :

ब्रह्मा रूप में कमंडलु, विष्णु रूप में चक्र और शिव रूप में त्रिशूल आपके हाथ में रहते हैं!

ब्रह्मा रूप में जगकर्ता ( रचयिता) , शिव रूप में जगहर्ता ( विनाशकर्ता) और विष्णु रूप में जग पालनकर्ता हैं!

आप ही ओंकार हैं आपकी जय हो!

You hold kamandalu ( jar filled with water) as brahma, chakra as vishnu and trident as shiva. You are the creator ( Brahma) , preserver ( vishnu) and destroyer ( shiva) of the world. Hail Lord Shiv ji . You are “ om “ personified.

ब्रह्मा विष्णु सदाशिव जानत अविवेका ।

प्रणवाक्षर के मध्ये ये तीनों एका ॥ ॐ जय शिव…॥

Explanation :

अज्ञानी लोग ही ब्रह्मा, विष्णु और शिव को अलग मानते हैं!

किन्तु प्रणवाक्षर ( ॐ ) में आप तीनों एक ही हैं!

आप ही ओंकार हैं आपकी जय हो!

Only unwise people view you three as different deities whereas in the universe you all are one with mystic ‘ om’. Hail Lord Shiv ji . You are “ om “ personified.

त्रिगुण शिवजीकी आरती जो कोई नर गावे ।

कहत शिवानन्द स्वामी मनवांछित फल पावे ॥ ॐ जय शिव…॥

Explanation :

तीनों गुण वाले ( सत, रजत, तामस) शिव जी की आरती जो गाते हैं

शिवानन्द स्वामी जी कहते हैं कि वो मनोवांछित फल पाते हैं !

Those who recite this prayer of  shiv having all three attributes get all their wishes fulfilled as said by swami shivananda. Hail Lord Shiv ji . You are “ om “ personified.

 

आशा करती हूं यह जानकारी आपको पसंद आई हो! इसे और लोगों तक पहुंचाने में मेरी मदद करें!

 

ॐ नमः शिवाए!

 

Apoorva Yadav Kamboj

 

 

 

 

29 Jul
Poetry

Anyway -The Paradoxical Commandments By Kent M. Keith

”Anyway” is a marvelous masterpiece written by Kent M. Keith. Keith pens beautifully to remain undeterred by how people are treating us and respond everyone with kindness. This poem tells us to be the lotus in the muddy pond.

Anyway -The Paradoxical Commandments By Kent M. Keith

People are illogical, unreasonable, and self-centered.
Love them anyway.

If you do good, people will accuse you of selfish ulterior motives.
Do good anyway.

If you are successful, you will win false friends and true enemies.
Succeed anyway.

The good you do today will be forgotten tomorrow.
Do good anyway.

Honesty and frankness make you vulnerable.
Be honest and frank anyway.

The biggest men and women with the biggest ideas can be shot down by the smallest men and women with the smallest minds.
Think big anyway.

People favor underdogs but follow only top dogs.
Fight for a few underdogs anyway.

What you spend years building may be destroyed overnight.
Build anyway.

People really need help but may attack you if you do help them.
Help people anyway.

Give the world the best you have and you’ll get kicked in the teeth.
Give the world the best you have anyway.

29 Jul
Parenting and Child Care

Taking Care of Premature Babies

A full term pregnancy is of about 40 weeks.  In past babies born anywhere between 37-42 weeks were considered  full term babies. Then the doctors realized that each week inside the womb is important for your baby’s  development and in 2013 ACOG and SMFM updated the definitions for term pregnancies. Early term is when your baby is born between 37-38 weeks, full term is when your baby is born between 39 -40 weeks, late term is when your baby is born between 41- 42 weeks and post term is when your baby is born after 42 weeks.

Babies born before 37 weeks are considered premature babies. They are further categorized as extremely preterm babies born before 28 weeks, very preterm babies born between 28-32 weeks, moderately preterm babies born between 32-34 weeks and late preterm babies born between 34-37 weeks. With the advancement of medical field babies born at as early as 23 weeks may also survive with intensive medical care however chances are a little low. As per Quint Boenker Preemie Survival Foundation and March of Dimes the likelihood of survival for a baby born prematurely is 17 % at 23 weeks, 39% at 24 weeks, 50% at 25 weeks, 80% at 26 weeks, 90% at 27 weeks, 90-95 % at 28-31 weeks, 95% at 32-33 weeks and very likely at or above 34 weeks.

All newborns need to be taken care of but preterm babies  need special care as some of their body parts are still underdeveloped such as lungs, digestive system, immune system, nervous system and skin depending upon how early the baby is born. Premature deliveries should be done in presence of personal trained in resuscitation to ensure that baby makes smooth transition from life inside the womb to the outer world. The team ensures that the baby is warm, breathing and his heart is pumping. Then as per the need of the baby he is sent to Neonatal Intensive Care Unit (NICU) for specialized care.

Care at NICU :

The care at NICU is based on needs of an individual baby based on the gestation, weight and other circumstances.  The following care may be given to your preemie baby in NICU :

Thermoregulation :   Premature babies are unable to maintain their temperature due to lack of brown fat and subcantaneous tissue, rapid heat loss from head, inability to shiver for production of heat etc. Thus premature babies are kept under radiant warmers or incubators depending upon the need.

Life Support : The lungs of premature babies may not be fully developed. Sometimes C-PAP ( Continuous Positive Airway Pressure) method is used for babies who can breathe on their own but need help getting air into their lungs. Some babies may need life support ventilator till the lungs mature and the support is withdrawn gradually when the baby can breathe on it’s own. Very often an artificial lung maturing chemical is administered into the lungs. A few babies may have chronic lung disease and may need ventilator for long time but since lungs continue to grow in first years of life this disease is cured eventually.

Feeding :  The premature babies, depending upon how mature they are at the time of birth, may need help in feeding. A baby can suck and swallow usually around 34 weeks and if the baby is born before that he may be fed by intravenous lines, catheter or oral and nasal feeding depending upon need. Once stable all babies are started on milk feeds in small quantities and the quantity is gradually increased . Breastmilk is preferred due to its various benefits.

Treatment of other problems: Other problems may include jaundice, heart problems, brain problems etc. All of these are resolved as per circumstances.

The babies are ready to go home when they are off life support , are feeding on their own, are maintaining their body temperature and all the care that they need can be provided at home. They achieve all this generally around 34-35 gestation weeks.

Care at home

Even after taking premature  babies home special care is needed. They are prone to infection and diseases due to weak immune system. Following things should be taken care :

Hygiene:  Maintain proper hygiene in the house specifically around your little one. Wash hands before handling your baby and advise others also to do so. Avoid bringing baby in close contact with someone having cold or flu to protect baby from catching the same.

Feeding : Give feed to baby after every 2-3 hours. If the baby is sleeping do not wake him up to feed as sleep is also very important for development of a healthy baby. But take care the gap between feeds should not be more than 4 hours in any case. Give breastmilk preferably as it helps in building immunity in babies.

Maintain Temperature Around Baby : Usually the temperature in neonatal care unit is 22 to 27 degree Celsius. Maintain this temperature immediately after bringing him home. Slowly we can reduce the temperature to 18 to 21 degree Celsius.

Kangaroo Care : Kangaroo care is skin to skin contact between baby and parents usually mothers. Your baby ( wearing only a diaper) should be placed on your chest (also bare to allow skin to skin contact) for sometime. Cover your baby’s back with blanket for warmth. It is similar to a kangaroo holding her baby in pouch. The benefits of Kangaroo care for baby are stabilized heart rate, improved breathing pattern, temperature maintenance, rapid weight gain, decreased crying, increased breastmilk supply, peaceful sleep and helps in good bonding

Giving massage : Give gentle massages to your baby once doctor has permitted the same. Let the skin of baby develop fully before starting massage. Massages help in promoting sleep, weight gain, boosts his immunity, improves circulation and digestion.

Give lots and lots of cuddles, hugs and kisses to your baby and enjoy this time with your little one. Please remember that premature babies achieve their milestones a little late as compared to full term babies but they will catch-up soon. So do not fret they are fine in your capable hands.  I hope these tips help you in taking care of your baby and ease your mind. Do not forget to share to help others.

Apoorva Yadav Kamboj.

Thanks to the Sources : www.verywellfamily.com, www.fmri.in, americanpregnancy.org, momabc.net, my.clevelandclinic.org, raisingchildren.net.au.

27 Jul
Poetry

आखिर कब?

हँसती थी, मुस्काती थी,
बाबुल के मन को भाती थी,
लाड़- प्यार में पली हुई,
धीरे धीरे बड़ी हुई,
अब शादी की बात उठी,
खुशी के मारे वो झूम उठी,
शादी कर, लिए आंखों में प्यार,
बसाने चली थी नया सँसार,
यूँ तो बाबुल ने दहेज़ बहुत भिजवाया था,
पर उनको रास ना आया था,
और दहेज़ की कर ली माँग,
हाय! विधाता ने रचा ये कैसा स्वांग,
लड़की नही धनी थी,
बाबुल के पास पैसों की कमी थी,
जनता था लाड़ली उसकी सुखी नही रह पाएगी,
पर उसको कुछ ना बताएगी,
जाने कब वो हँसेगी दोबारा,
उजड़ चुका था उसका सँसार सारा,
जाने कब वो पहले हंसी थी,
एक दिन देखा तो मरी पड़ी थी,
वह मरी नही थी, गया था उसको मारा,
कब पूछेगा ये सँसार सारा,
इस राक्षस दहेज़ की आग कब बुझेगी?
कब नव यौवन को बर्बाद करना बंद करेगी?
आखिर कब?

यह कविता मैंने 13 साल की उम्र में रानी मुखर्जी की मेहंदी फ़िल्म से प्रभावित होकर लिखी थी। उस पिक्चर ने मुझ पर बहुत ही गहरा असर डाला था और भावुक होकर मैंने यह कविता लिखी।
उम्मीद है आपको पसंद आई हो।

27 Jul
Laughter Dose

10 Funny Questions asked on Yahoo (Part 1)

” There is no stupid question : stupid people don’t ask questions : Olivia”

It’s difficult to believe this saying after reading following questions asked by people on Yahoo Questions and Answers

Question : If I wear a mask when I visit my grandma, my friends say I look gay. Should I not wear a mask or stop seeing grandma?

Best Answer : It’s not the mask. It’s just you.

I think he should just get better friends who donot judge him or gay people. There is no ” gay look” as per se.

Question : Should i tell my parents that I am adopted?  I don’t fit well with the family. I think it’s time to come clean to them.

Best Answer : This question remains unanswered I wonder why?

We have often heard adopting parents wondering whether they should tell their children that they are dopted or not. However I don’t even know how to comment on this question. Is the person really serious?

Question : My wife changed her Facebook status from ” Married” to ” Widowed” Should i be worried?

Best Answer : Yeah mate start running.

Great advice given under these circumstances.

Question : What happens to people born on Feb 29th? Do they stay one until 4 years pass? 

Best Answer : They get locked up in a secret labortory in Iowa and are let loose every four years.

Now imagine you have your sixteenth birthday and someone with same thinking gets you a gift for 4 year old. Wouldn’t it be fun?

Question : When i die and go to heaven can i still watch anime ? If not then i don’t want to die. Pls help!!

Best Answer : I will admit i think about this from time to time because it sounds depressing if i can’t. Now if  i can that would be awesome, also it depends on your beliefs.

Both the asker and replier seem great fans of anime. But I admit it’s a great way to stay motivated to do good deeds to be able to go in heaven.

Question : How do i succesfully become a Justin Bieber fan? I would like to beacome a Justin Bieber fan. Currently i am Jack Norris fan and i would like to switch to Justin Bieber. How can i successfully achieve this goal?

Best Answer : Lose all brain functions. Maybe sustain a pretty substantial blow to the head.

I didn’t know there was a qualification or test to become a fan. I thought I was Sachin Tendulkar’s fan. Now should I be in doubt? And i really don’t think Justin Bieber fans have received any blow to their heads. But we have to admit both question and answer were equally funny.

Question :  Why do i feel i have butterflies in my stomach?

Best Answer : Have you been eating catterpillars?

I think the poster wanted to know anything about being in love or being nervous but the answer has made the question look pretty funny.

Question : I made jesus shaped pancakes but burnt them. Am I going to hell?

Best Answer : God is in all things. You burn him every time you fire up your easy-bake oven.

Now it will become difficult for the poor woman to bake anything.

Question : How can i lose weight without moving? I donot like to move and I am alergic to the sun.

Best Answer: Just think about exercising for a week and check your progress, I’m being serious though.

Even I can somewhat relate to this question. I would also love to lose weight without exercising but not moving at all will be a little difficult. How can anyone survive without moving? But on positive note the poster has lost weight by including salad in diet as per the updates on yahoo.

Question:  How to turn my computer monitor into a mirror? I bought an expensive monitor hoping it would be a great mirror. Putting a mirror in cd drive doesn’t work.

Answer : No, it wouldn’t. You have to go to a mirroring web site and download a mirror image and use that as desktop wallpaper. They also have a purple color that can be used on your monitor to give you a nice tan.

I can’t help but wish if only i had enough money like the poster to buy such expensive mirrors.

There are several such questions posted on yahoo for our entertainment so it was difficult to select just a few. Will be back with more such questions soon. So did you get a good laugh by reading these questions? Help the posters with better answers in you have one and also mention them in comments.

 

Apoorva Yadav Kamboj.

25 Jul
Health

My Story of Dealing with PCOD

PCOD is polycystic ovarian disease and is caused due to hormonal imbalance in females. I was diagnosed with PCOD when i was 22 years old. I had excessive hairfall to the point where i was afraid to even comb my hair and wash them. I used to cry watching the extent of hairfall as my hair were thinning and my hairline was receding. As if this was not enough hair started growing on my face and i gained a lot of weight. This was a very upsetting phase of my life. I consulted a good gynaecologist who was very kind and helpful. She gave me hormones medication and iron, vitamins etc. I took medications for a year but that can vary from person to person and their condition. So take medicines as per your doctor’s advice. The most important thing was to lose weight and make changes in lifestyle. The things that helped me control this problem and regulate my menses are :

Exercise : You would have already guessed it. Exercising is effective way to lose weight and balance your hormones. But i was advised to opt for morning walks and yoga instead of going to gym. Now you must be thinking why is that? It’s because you have to maintain your habits lifetime to keep PCOD in check. It would be hard to go to gym without fail but if you can manage it then go ahead.  Even if you are going to gym do not try to lose too much weight too soon. Just make a routine you can always follow. I did some breathing exercises and meditation for 15-20 minutes in morning. I didn’t have much time for exercising so i opted walking home from metro station (approx. 2 kms.) while coming back from work. I also did few yoga asanas watching you tube tutorials ( plenty of tutorials are available). Some of the poses are : Butterfly pose, Reclining Butterfly Pose, Bharadvaja’s Twist, Cobra Pose, Child’s Pose (Balasana), Cat and Cow Pose and Lotus Pose ( I could never do the tough one’s like Prasarita Padottanasana, Bow Pose etc. ). Yoga is definitely an answer to many health problems including PCOD.

Healthy Diet :  Take a well balanced diet. Include lots of fresh fruits and vegetables in your diet. You should also drink plenty of water atleast 10 glasses a day. The food items i avoided having were :

  • Anything made from all-purpose flour (maida). It was a complete no-no. I still take something made from all purpose flour only once or twice a month.
  • Carbonated Drinks, packed juices, sodas etc. are to be avoided.
  • Prefer fruits instead of juice.
  • Too much artificial sweeteners or sugar. A little bit of sweet is fine.

I used to take coconut water and triphala daily and ate fruits a lot. You should eat something every two hours for better results.

Do not take stress: The most difficult thing to do at this time was to stop taking stress. But it was the foremost step. Stress plays a crucial role in imbalancing our hormones and thus hinders any progress we can make by doing above mentioned things. Meditating helped me a lot in relieving stress. I am a huge fan of reading novels and watching movies so i made time to do these things to make me happy. You can take up any hobby you love.

Enough Sleep : Sleep for atleast 8 hours daily. Sleeping soundly reduces stress and improves mood. It improves our immunity, helps in managing weight and improves our overall health.

I just followed above steps and my menses regularized. It was difficult to keep taking healthy diet regularly with temptations like pizza, Maggie etc. but i awarded myself with these treats once or twice in month for all the hard work i did to free myself from PCOD. It’s not cured but now my menses are normal, facial hair stopped growing and weight is under control. Sometimes hairfall strikes back but that happens due to plenty of reasons. So all in all i can say have successfully kept my PCOD symptoms in check only by following above steps. This is my personal experience with dealing with PCOD. For any queries feel free to comment and I will do my best to help you.

Apoorva Yadav Kamboj.

25 Jul
Parenting and Child Care

How to raise a happy child?

We as parents always wish our child to be healthy, successful and happy always. While it is not exactly possible for someone to always have the best of life, it is our attitude to deal with life that matters. As said by Charles R. Swindoll – “ Life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you react to it “.  We cannot control the hardships or challenges that life will throw towards our little ones but what we can do is ensure that they are prepared to handle everything. Life nowadays is particularly very challenging as the world is becoming more and more competitive with each passing day. So it has become very essential to develop a innate happiness in our child.

We may think that whether the child will be happy or not depends  on the circumstances and we can do nothing about it. While it’s true we cannot control the outside circumstances but we can teach our child to not be controlled by the circumstances. “ Happiness is not determined by what’s happening around  you, but rather what’s happening within you” – John Spencer. Below are the things we can do to raise a happy child :

Be happy yourself : Only a happy parent can raise a happy child . If we ourselves are troubled we are bound to release some of our frustration on our child which in turn will make our child unhappy and frustrated. Lead by example and have a positive attitude towards life. It ’s not always possible for us to be happy but we have learn how to deal with negative emotions without affecting our child. Emotional intelligence should be implemented by us and taught to our children. We should show them it is okay to be feeling low sometimes but we should deal with it without impacting our own mindset, health or others around us.

Teach children to build relationships : Teach you children to build healthy and meaningful relationships. Studies show people are happier when they have people in their lives on whom they can rely on. Tell them that it’s not important to surround yourself with many people but have a group who gives you strength and positivity instead of dragging you down. Our company affects our choices and behaviour so guide your children to keep good company. Also encourage them to be social and be a good, gentle and loving with all.

Communicate Effectively : Give your undivided attention to your child when he is talking to you. Take their problems seriously even if they seem small to you . Empathize with them , offer your advise and encourage them to solve their problems on their own. If your child admits some mistake he has done don’t be harsh on them as it will discourage them to talk to you if something happens again. Be gentle and explain to them where they went wrong and also ask them not to repeat it again. Be the friends they can come to when they are in trouble. But don’t be too lenient otherwise it will make them think you don’t care at all. Set some ground rules and regulations and discuss them with your child instead of just imposing them. You do not have to be overbearing as it will make the child a rebel. Communicate with everyone around you nicely so that your child can learn to do the same. Avoid yelling at your child or at anyone in front of your child to teach them that conflicts can be resolved by having sensible discussions.

Praise efforts not results : Praising your child is important for developing his confidence and self esteem. But if we only praise the achievements in his life it will make him believe that he has to be perfect in order to be admired. So it will create a pressure on him to always perform well and in case he couldn’t he will be demoralized. Hence it is better to appreciate the efforts made by child instead of the result. Dr. Carol Dweck’s research shows children who focus more on process rather than result are likely to become more successful. Believe in your child as it will help in him believing in himself. As said by Mathew Jacobson “ behind every young child who believes in himself is a parent who believed first”. Never compare your kid to other children. By doing so you will teach them to be competitive instead ask them to be better version of themselves. Encourage them to beat their own records and focus on achieving their set goals instead of trying to do better than some other child.

More Playtime : Encourage your child to play more preferably outside. The Outdoor activities not only help the child to become stronger physically but also lets him connect to the nature and form bond with other children. Going to parks to play with other children some of whom may be unknown helps them enlarge their friend circle, teaches them art of making new friends and builds team spirit. It is recommended to reduce screen time be it television, laptop or phones. These things affect their eyes, overall health makes them loner and research shows that more screen time affects their psychological well being. Instead notice their strengths and skills and encourage them to take up creative hobbies which they like. It will not only develop their skills, sharpen their mind but also keep them happily occupied and help them in longer run.

Teach Positive Thinking : Lord Krishna said in Bhagvad Geeta “ Man is made by is beliefs. As he beliefs so he is”. Our minds can be wired to think positively. Teach your child to be optimistic so that he can lead a happy life. Do not ask the child to avoid negative emotions as avoidance leads to more psychological issues. Encourage them to accept negative emotions and react positively to them. Learn from your negative emotions to be resilient. To develop positive thinking you can ask them to keep daily gratitude journal, listen and repeat positive affirmations, do meditation etc.

Teach Forgiveness: “ Forgive others not because they deserve forgiveness, but because you deserve peace” – Jonathan Lockwood Huie. In order to live a peaceful, happy life it is essential to forgive people even if they have not asked for it. Keeping anger within yourself would only lead you to be bitter and will affect your relations. So teach your kid to forgive and what a better way than following it yourself.

Make them Generous :  Being generous and doing something for others gives meaning to our lives. It gives us a sense of fulfilment and being able to do something for someone without expecting something in return gives us a unique joy. Encourage your kid to serve others so that they can lead meaningful life ahead.

It is important to start these habits early on so that your child will learn them without much difficulty. I know parenting is a big responsibility and a tough task at times but i am sure you agree that it is worth million more efforts. I wish health, happiness and success for your children and hope these tips are of some help to you all wonderful parents out there. Do not forget to share it if you like the tips.

Apoorva Yadav Kamboj

21 Jul
Motivational, Spiritual

Lessons to be learned from Life of Lord Krishna

” The offering of wisdom is better than any material offering, Arjuna; for the goal of all work is spiritual wisdom ” – Bhagvad Geeta.

Lord Krishna is the eigth avatar of Lord Vishnu. He is the ” Poornavatar” as he had all 16 Kalas attributed to manifestation of divinity. The Lord takes avatar in human form for re-establishment of ” ”dharma whenever ” adharma” exceeds on earth.  As stated by Krishna himself:

paritranaya sadhunam vinasaya ca duskrtam

dharma-samsthapanarthaya sambhavami yuge yuge [BG – 4.8] meaning:

In order to deliver the pious and to annihilate the miscreants, as well as to reestablish the principles of religion, I advent Myself millennium after millennium.

But that cannot be the only purpose of taking birth in human form as the almighty God can annihilate the evil doers by his mere will. Then why take the trouble of taking birth and living this human life? The main purpose of these avatars is to teach us the way to live our life in righteous manner and how to conduct ourselves in various situations. There are many wonderful teachings from life of Lord Krishna which all can neither be described nor be fully understood by me. However some of the teachings which i love ( but am still unable to follow) are:

Keep Smiling ( Yes our website name ”wink wink” ) : Lord Krishna faced hardships throughout his life since birth itself. A newborn separated by his birth parents, had to fight for his life since day 1, then had to leave the place and people he dearly loved ( including his adoptive parents and true love) and kill his maternal uncle and so on. I am sure you know most of the story. He had to go through so much till the end of his life but kept on facing each obstacle with a smile. This is the most important and ofcourse the most difficult life lesson taught by him.

Have a passion : Any image or statue of Lord Krishna is incomplete without his flute. This shows the importance of playing flute in his life. He loved to play flute and dance and enjoyed life to the fullest. Our passions help us in overcoming the pains and bring true joy to our hearts. Life is after all a celebration and we need to become a participant instead of just a spectator.

Do not worry about other’s opinions : We often worry what people would say and do not live our lives as per our wishes even if what we want is not wrong. Lord Krishna always did what was right and never worried about the consequences or public opinions. He eloped with Rukmani ji and even helped his sister Subhadra elope with Arjuna for the sake of love. Later in life he married sixteen thousand one hundred women whom he had rescued from demon Narkaasura to save them from facing disgrace from society for being kidnapped from the demon. So do what is right and do not worry about society’s opinions.

Women Rights : Lord Krishna was a great advocator of women’s rights and treated them with equal respect. This can be seen from many episodes in his life. He was a firm believer that girls had the right to choose the person they want to marry and should marry for love. This can be seen from his marriage with Rukmani ji and his sister’s marriage with Arjuna. His acceptance of women rescued from Narkaasura as his wives shows that women should not be blamed for the wrong deeds of someone else. This lesson should be learned by our whole society and we should stop blaming girls and women for the mis-happenings in their lives  and only punish the culprit. Women have full right to live normally in society as they are only the victims and victim shaming should be stopped immediately. Krishna also saved Draupadi from ” Cheerharan” and fulfilled the duty as a friend and brother.

Value Friendship : The way Lord Krishna helped Sudama without burdening him with any obligation shows the true meaning of friendship. He also helped Arjuna all the time and gave him advises to follow his ” dharma” and win the Mahabharata war.He is the best friend one could hope for.

” Dharma ” above All :  He left his adoptive parents, love of his life, childhood friends and place where he grew up in order to fulfill his duty. He encouraged Arjuna to fight the war against his kins and relatives as reestablishment of righteousness was his dharma. He also taught us that sometimes all tactics (whether fair or unfair) have to be used in order to win if and only if we are on the side of righteousness and are doing something for the benefit of all. He told us that we have to fight for our rights and take action then only God can help us. It is our duty to speak up and do everything in our power for what we feel is right.

Love : Krishna is God of love. He gave love to everyone who came near him. He taught us the real meaning of love.With love only we can spread joy around us and be happy ourselves.

Art of Communication : The best sweet talker and communicator the world has ever seen is none other than Lord Krishna. His words were his weapon. He motivated and inspired Pandavas throughout the war by his words. He always managed his big brother Balaram who got angry easily by twisting his words and sweet talking.Without the need of ever raising his voice he was always able to communicate effectively and convince people to do his biding.

Being a true leader and strategist : He was a born leader. He was the leader of his ” makhan chor ” toli and was always able to pull his michiefs without getting punished. The whole war of Mahabharata could be won by Pandavas only because of his strategies. Even without lifting any weapon he was sole decider of the fate of war.

Krishna’s whole life is an inspiration. Every single moment of his life was a lesson for all of us. We can live our life well if we could follow even some of his teachings.  So which of his teachings have you tried to follow and what other lessons have you learned do let me know in the comments as i know even a fraction of his life lessons could not be covered by me.

Hare Krishna.

Apoorva Yadav Kamboj.

 

 

 

 

 

 

20 Jul
Relationships

Tips for building a Healthy Relationship

We often hear couples saying that they no longer have spark in their relationship. Once the “honeymoon” period is over it becomes boring and stale. Winning someone over takes a lot of effort but keeping someone takes even more. What we need to understand first is what makes the honeymoon period exciting? The happiness of finally being with someone we have been longing for quite sometime, the thrill of getting to know them on a deeper level, the need to spend almost all the time together creates a feeling of euphoria . In this newfound excitement we make extra efforts to make the other person happy by even sacrificing our needs sometimes. Once we get to know each other we become too comfortable and start taking things for granted. This is what makes the relationship boring. Then comes the fights, misunderstandings, dissatisfaction and the relationship doesn’t feel the same. What can we do to maintain the relationship healthy? Here are some basic tips to keep the spark alive :

Realistic Expectations: The romantic movies and novels have raised the bar of expectations too high. We expect our partner to fill every void we have in our lives. We expect them to know what, when and how to do things to make us happy all the time without us having to say anything which is not possible. Also expecting that the things will always remain the same as in the beginning is a bit farfetched. We should have realistic expectations from our partner. He/she is not responsible for our happiness alone , we together make our lives happier. We are the lead in our life and our partner is there to support us. So we should remember only we can make ourselves truly happy from within and when we are happy we are capable of making others happy.

Effective Communication: Communicating our expectations, likes and dislikes helps the other person to understand what we really want instead of having to guess all the time. If we are unhappy about something it’s better to share early on instead of building it up inside. Not blaming the other person and making him/her understand your point of view in a calm and composed way helps to avoid heating arguments. Also avoid mentioning past mistakes while discussing the current issues. Let bygones be bygones.

Be expressive and appreciative: Love can be seen in eyes is just a Bollywood thing. It’s necessary to make your partner feel loved and appreciated. Express your love from time to time in a way you both like. Actions do speak louder than words but in love both actions and words are important to assure your beloved.

Be Real : Sometimes to woo someone we do things which are not in our nature or comfort zone to please the person. This may help to win the person over but once we cannot carry on the facade (which trust me is impossible to do forever) the other person feels cheated as he/she expects us to be the same not knowing that we were just pretending to be someone we are actually not. This can crumble the relationship pretty fast.

Make Time: Taking out time for doing things together, enjoying each other’s company, having conversations is very important for every relationship. In order to maintain the emotional intimacy it’s fundamental to be there for your partner in happy as well as stressful times .

Setting Boundaries: Giving each other space is as important as being with each other. Have a life outside your relationship. Go out with your friends and encourage your partner to do so. Have hobbies and enjoy your life. This will help you to love yourself and not be consumed by the relation.

Respect : Mutual respect should be there in a relationship. Everyone is entitled to their opinion, beliefs and choices. We should respect our partner’s wishes. Both of you are equal and any attempt to dominate or disrespect can hurt your relationship beyond repair.

Understanding: Understanding the other person helps us form a strong emotional bond. When we understand each other it’s easier to communicate effectively, realize what other person is going through, know what can hurt them or what we can do to make amends.

Trust and Loyalty: A healthy relationship cannot exist without these two factors. Trusting and being loyal to your partner is foundation of any relation.

Acceptance: No one is perfect. Accepting your partner with both positives and flaws helps forming  unbreakable bond. It lets the other person be who they are and frees them. It also helps us to avoid unnecessary fights on small issues.

Improving each  other: While accepting the other person with flaws is good for our relationship,  constructive criticism and showing the right path to our partner is our duty. Similarly understanding our mistakes and correcting them is as important. A healthy relationship always improves both person and make them better version of themselves.

Break out of routine: Living with the same routine bores everyone. Take breaks from time to time and take vacations or do something you both enjoy and live the life to the fullest.

 

Remember why you are together, what you saw in your partner before committing and what efforts on both of your parts were made to begin this relationship. Always reminisce the happy times spent together and forget bad ones after learning lessons from them. Love yourself and your partner a little more . I hope these tips were worth your time. Do let me know anything you would like to add in the comments.

Apoorva Yadav Kamboj

20 Jul
Fiction

क्या बहू को त्योहार मनाने का हक़ नहीं?

 

नीति और गौरव की शादी को अभी दो महीने ही हुए थे। नीति अपनी ससुराल में बहुत खुश थी। सास, ससुर से माँ, पापा जैसा प्यार और छोटे देवर अंकुश से एक भाई का स्नेह मिल रहा था। नीति की एक छोटी नन्द भी है, रीमा, जिसकी शादी को एक साल हुआ था। कुछ दिनों से नीति को अपने मायके की बहुत याद आ रही थी। रक्षाबंधन आने ही वाला है तो सोच रही थी इस बार कुछ दिन घर रुक कर आएगी। शादी के बाद बस पगफेरे की रसम के लिए दो दिन रह कर आई थी क्योंकि उसके बाद उसे हनीमून के लिए पेरिस जाना था।

आज मम्मी जी से बात करूँगी ऐसा सोच कर उनके पास जा ही रही थी कि रीमा का फ़ोन आ गया।“ कैसी हो भाभी? “ रीमा ने फ़ोन उठाते ही पूछा। “ मैं अच्छी हो रीमा, तुम बताओ आज कैसे याद आ गयी भाभी की? “ नीति ने हंस कर पूछा। “ याद तो बहुत आ रही है भाभी तभी रक्षाबंधन पे घर आ रही हूँ। भैया के साथ साथ आपको भी तो राखी बांधनी है, औऱ वैसे भी मुझे तो अपनी भाभी के साथ वक़्त बिताने का मौका ही नही मिला। आपकी शादी के बाद से मेरा आना जो नही हो पाया। खैर कोई बात नही इस बार बैठकर खूब बातें करेंगे। “ रीमा खुशी से एक साँस में सब बोले जा रही थी। “अच्छी बात है रीमा मेरा भी तुमसे मिलने का बहुत मन था “ नीति बोली। “ठीक है भाभी फिर मिलते हैं” कहकर रीमा ने फ़ोन रख दिया।

रीमा से मिलने की नीति को वाकई खुशी थी पर पहली बार भाई नीलेश को राखी नही बांध पाऊँगी ये सोच कर बहुत दुख हो रहा था। गौरव शायद कुछ हल निकाल पाए, शाम को ऑफिस से आएंगे तो बात करूँगी ये सोच कर नीति सो गई। शाम को जब आँख खुली तो बाहर से सबके हँसने की आवाज़ आ रही थी। “ क्या बात है सब बड़े खुश लग रहे हैं कुछ खास बात?” नीति ने पूछा। “ आओ नीति बेटा चाय पी लो, कुछ खास बात नही रीमा की बात हो रही थी” सुषमाजी बोलीं। “ भाभी दीदी आ रही हैं चार दिन बाद हमारे साथ राखी मनाने” अंकुश चहकता हुआ बोला। “ बहुत शरारती है हमारी रीमा उसकी ही हरकतें याद कर रहे थे। तुम मिलोगी तो जान जाओगी, उसके आने से रौनक सी आ जाती है घर में” गौरव बोला। घर मे सब को इतना खुश देखकर नीति ने घर जाने की बात ना करना ही उचित समझा और सबकी बात पे बस मुस्कुराते हुए शांत बैठ गई।

सुषमा जी अपनी बेटी के आने की खूब तैयारी कर रहीं थीं। बेसन के लड़डू, मट्ठी, शक्करपारे और भी बहुत सी चीजें अपने हाथों से बना रहीं थीं। नीति भी उनकी पूरी मदद कर रही थी। पूरा दिन सब रीमा की ही बातें करते रहते। नीति से किसी ने नही पूछा कि वो अपने भाई को राखी बांधने जाना चाहती है क्या। ये बात उसे बिल्कुल अच्छी नही लगी पर उसने किसी से कुछ नही कहा। मार्किट जाकर राखी ले आई और घर पोस्ट कर दी। नीलेश को फ़ोन करके बता दिया। नीलेश ने भी कोई ज़िद्द नही करी और मम्मी पापा ने भी समझाया कि ससुराल वालों की बात माननी चाहिए। सो नीति उदास मन सबके साथ खुश होने की कोशिश कर रही थी। पर मन ही मन वो ये सोच रही थी कि क्या बहुओं को त्योहार अपने घर मनाने का हक़ नही? उसे आज तक इस घर में बेटी और बहू में फर्क़ महसूस नही हुआ था पर शायद रीमा अभी तक आयी नही थी इसलिय। बेटी के आने की बात सुनके ही सब बहू को भूल गए। सबसे थोड़ी नाराज़ थी नीति।

आखिर राखी का दिन आ ही गया। रीमा सुबह जल्दी ही आ गई थी। आते ही उसने नीति को गले लगाया और फिर सबसे मिलकर बैठ गई। “ पहले रखी बांध लो रीमा फिर नाश्ता लगा देती हूँ” नीति बोली। “अभी रुको भाभी जल्दी क्या है, आओ पहले बातें हो जाएं” रीमा बोली। “ हमारी रीमा से तो बस बातें बनवा लो” सुषमा जी हँसकर कहने लगीं की तभी घंटी बजी। शायद काम वाली होगी मैं देखती हूँ कहकर नीति दरवाज़ा खोलने गई। दरवाज़ा खोला तो हैरान रह गई।

सामने उसके मम्मी, पापा और भाई नीलेश खड़े थे। इससे पहले वो कुछ कह पाती अंदर से सुषमा जी बोलते हुए आई “ कैसा लगा हमारा सरप्राइज बेटा? हम सबने सोचा इस बार ये त्योहार साथ मे मानते हैं” और फिर सबका स्वागत कर सबको अंदर ले गईं। नीति की आंखों में खुशी के आंसू आ गए और शायद पछतावे के भी। वो ना जाने इतने दिन से क्या क्या सोच रही थी। यहाँ बेटी और बहू में वाकई कोई फर्क नही था। ऐसा परिवार पाकर वो बहुत सुकून महसूस कर रही थी। इन ख़यालों में वो बाहर ही खड़ी खोई हुई थी कि रीमा की आवाज़ आई “ अब राखी मना भी लो भाभी फिर नाश्ता करते हैं, बहुत भूख लगी है ”। बस अभी आई कहकर नीति खुशी खुशी अंदर चली गई।

 

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