{"id":700,"date":"2022-01-18T13:39:50","date_gmt":"2022-01-18T13:39:50","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.keepsmiling.co.in\/?p=700"},"modified":"2022-01-18T13:39:50","modified_gmt":"2022-01-18T13:39:50","slug":"clever-one-line-jokes-to-go-rofl-part-i","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.keepsmiling.co.in\/?p=700","title":{"rendered":"Clever One-Line Jokes to go ROFL- Part-I"},"content":{"rendered":"

Want to laugh without needing to read too much. Just read these funny one-liners :<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

    \n
  1. What did one toilet say to the other? You look a bit flushed!<\/li>\n
  2. I used to think I was indecisive. But now I\u2019m not so sure.<\/li>\n
  3. Just burned 2,000 calories, that\u2019s the last time I leave brownies in the oven while I nap.<\/li>\n
  4. I don\u2019t suffer from insanity\u2014I enjoy every minute of it.<\/li>\n
  5. \u201cMoney talks. But all mine ever says is goodbye.\u201d<\/li>\n
  6. Today a man knocked on my door and asked for a small donation toward the local swimming pool. I gave him a glass of water.<\/li>\n
  7. Why can\u2019t you be friends with a squirrel? They drive everyone nuts.<\/li>\n
  8. I always tell new hires, don’t think of me as your boss, think of me as your friend who can fire you.<\/li>\n
  9. Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you\u00a0do\u00a0<\/i>criticize them, you\u2019re a mile away and you have their shoes.<\/li>\n
  10. Maybe if we start telling people their brain is an app, they\u2019ll want to use it.<\/li>\n
  11. “A computer once beat me at chess. But it was no match for me at kickboxing.”<\/li>\n
  12. My friend was explaining electricity to me, but I was like, \u2018Watt?\u2019<\/li>\n
  13. Some cause happiness wherever they go. Others\u00a0whenever\u00a0<\/em>they go.”<\/li>\n
  14. The man who invented knock-knock jokes should get a no bell prize.<\/li>\n
  15. How do you make holy water? You boil the hell out of it.<\/li>\n
  16. I saw a sign the other day that said, \u2018Watch for children,\u2019 and I thought, \u2018That sounds like a fair trade.\u2019<\/li>\n
  17. I have a few jokes about unemployed people, but none of them work.<\/li>\n
  18. I was wondering why the frisbee kept getting bigger and bigger, but then it hit me.<\/li>\n
  19. I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather.. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.<\/li>\n
  20. Most people are shocked when they find out how bad I am as an electrician, I mean literally shocked.<\/li>\n
  21. \u00a0A recent study has found that women who carry a little extra weight live longer than the men who mention it.<\/li>\n
  22. The doctor told me I had to start walking three miles a day to get fit It’s been two weeks and I don’t know how to get home.<\/li>\n
  23. We child-proofed our homes, but they are still getting in.<\/li>\n
  24. Not to brag, but I have sychic powers. For example, right now you\u2019re thinking, \u201cIt\u2019s psychic, you idiot.\u201d<\/li>\n
  25. Guess who just woke up to 19 missed calls and 30 messages from his ex? My ex.<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

    Did you love the one-liners. I will be back soon with few more.<\/p>\n

     <\/p>\n

    Apoorva Yadav Kamboj.<\/strong><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

    Want to laugh without needing to read too much. Just […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":13,"featured_media":702,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[9],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-700","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-laughter-dose"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.keepsmiling.co.in\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/700","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.keepsmiling.co.in\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.keepsmiling.co.in\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.keepsmiling.co.in\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/13"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.keepsmiling.co.in\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=700"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/www.keepsmiling.co.in\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/700\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":703,"href":"https:\/\/www.keepsmiling.co.in\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/700\/revisions\/703"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.keepsmiling.co.in\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/702"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.keepsmiling.co.in\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=700"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.keepsmiling.co.in\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=700"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.keepsmiling.co.in\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=700"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}